Restarting Yoga

 It has been seven years since I left my yoga practice.  Life is busy with the lockdown and I would perhaps have delayed restarting if it were not for the frequent headaches which have been plaguing me in the last several months.  I find myself wide awake at four in the morning (the result of going to bed at eight at night with my son), lying in bed with a throbbing head and nothing to do.

So yesterday, when my husband suggested I get up and try some yoga, I staggered out of bed and said, "I don't know if I have the energy," but I did try.  And it felt like coming home all over again.  I knew immediately that it was the perfect thing for me in the mornings and I must continue.  I love waking up when it is still dark and perfectly still- to feel the stillness within and not worry about matters the world is concerned with.  It is a time when all the wisdom of ancient teachers seems to hover somewhere around you, waiting to disclose itself if you are ready.

The hardest aspect of the new schedule was convincing my little son that it is okay for me to wake up at four thirty in the morning, but not for him.  Having a sleepy and irritable seven year old wandering around, following me would be disaster.  So, for now, my husband has agreed to keep an eye on my son in case he awakes, until we all get used to the new routine.

There were other complications, as I realised this morning.  How do I know when to wake up without setting an alarm, without disturbing anyone, without endlessly getting up to check the time in the dark (as you may have guessed I am not a gadget oriented person).  I usually gauge the hour by the amount of light entering our bedroom window (we get to see clouds and trees, moonlight and fireflies outside at night, which is very exciting, so we usually have no use for curtains- waking up when the first ray of light enters our room).

Last night I was so happy that I did not dwell on the specifics of early morning awakening.  This morning I woke up, ready to step out of bed when my husband told me,"It's still three o'clock.  Go back to sleep."  Sleeping was out of the question but I did my best to relax and rest.  I got up around four thirty and began my practice soon after.

It has been so long!  I am so stiff!  I know I can barely move and sometimes my back goes into a spasm, sometimes my legs cramp up- nerves and muscles all over are protesting.  But it feels the same as it always did from inside- just perfect!  I think that I will not remember the movements, it has been much too long.  But my teacher's voice and my own years of practice take over and I am soon finding my way, one step at a time- evaluating what my body needs, what the next posture I need is, how much I can stretch and so on.  For my yoga training has been with a teacher who let me learn by myself, in my own way.  It was never a group class, I was never handed an easy solution, I had to find my way through by focussing internally, with just a little guidance from my teacher.  This helps me enormously now, as my teacher probably knew it would.

He always insisted that yoga is for everyone, no matter what their physical condition - it just has to be modified to suit each person's requirements.  And so he emphasised the principles, not achieving one particular specific goal.

By the time everyone was awake, I was done with my practice, feeling energised and ready for the day.  

I am grateful to my teacher and I know he is glad I have restarted my practice.  Being the remarkable teacher that he is, he had told me,"There is no hurry.  Enjoy the time with your son, young children need a lot of attention."  But he had also told me that if I did the complete practice, my headaches should go away.  So here I am, at the threshold of another new beginning, waiting to see how it unfolds.

Birthday Surprises

 Mummy woke up to a new day.  Like all days, some things were the same but some things were very different.  She squinted in the dim light.  

Appa was already up and ready, whispering something to her.  She listened carefully.  It did not sound like, "Happy birthday," but more like, "There's no water in the taps.  I am going to outside to check the tanks.  Go back to sleep."

"No water in the taps" was a bit worrying but not as worrying as "Going to check the tanks", for it was still quite dark and the tanks were high up.  Of course Mummy knew that Appa had climbed many tricky rocks and mountains in the past and water tanks were nothing compared to that, but she still worried for a moment.  "Going back to sleep" was, of course, impossible.

In his sleep, Osito Nayan sighed contentedly.  He and Samatva were dreaming of their own tricky mountains to climb.  

As the light broke through, everyone awoke and had to share the half bucket of water that remained in the house.  It was still too early to call the pump house but Appa was slowly getting to the cause of the problem.

He had stepped out into the garden, to check the maze of pipes and valves.  Osito Nayan promptly followed.  

Mummy was a bit annoyed.  "You should have waited until we began breakfast," she said.  "How will I get him ready in time for school if he's wandering outside?"  

"He has to learn to get back inside.  This CANNOT wait," said Appa, and he was right, as he often is.

So, when Osito Nayan was finally convinced it was a good idea to get back, he meandered to the dining table to begin his breakfast.  

Appa returned and said, "Someone closed the inlet valve at night.  The pump house said they had sent someone to close the sewage water connection but actually they turned off our water inflow.  Also, the gardener left the tap open in the garden."

The gardener, when questioned, claimed it was actually the monkeys.

Anyway, at least there was no leak and more water was gradually pumped in by the time Osito Nayan's classes began.

As soon as we switched on the computer, there was a flashing red light- no internet!  Osito Nayan began to cry.  He hated glitches in his classes.

"Explorers need to be brave and strong," Appa reminded him.  "They have to deal with all kinds of unknown things," so Osito Nayan tried to cheer up.  It was hard.  Samatva slipped a paw into his hand and held it tight.

Mummy tried to get the backup internet on but it refused to work.  It was one of those mornings.  She called the internet company.  "There is a break in the cable Madam, my worker is already there," the man told her.

"It must be because of yesterday's rain," said Appa.

"It must be because of the monkeys," said Mummy, who liked to blame everything she could on the monkeys (just like the gardener).

Osito Nayan didn't care what it might be due to.  He was still crying, still hoping he would be able to join his classes and, soon, with the help of Mummy's cell phone, he was.

"Don't switch on the video right now," he said to Mummy.  "I want to calm down."  So when he felt calm and brave enough, he began his classes and everything went very smoothly.

Classes over, it was time to dwell on other important matters.

"I'm so sad I couldn't give you anything for your birthday," said Osito Nayan to Mummy.

She gave him a big hug.  "You give me a lot of happiness, which is the best gift," she said.  

"How about a card?" suggested Samatva.

"You are wearing ice cream coloured clothes today Mummy," said Nayan, "so let me make you a big ice cream card."

Samatva and Osito Nayan proceeded to make a big, beautiful card.

"This looks wonderful!" said Mummy.  "What flavour is it?"

"Rainbow flavour!" said Nayan, "The most delicious!"

Then, Osito Nayan thought of other important birthday things.  Like balloons, cakes and candles.

"Mummy, can we have a balloon game?" he asked excitedly.  "Will I be able to blow some balloons?"

"Yes, after dinner," said Mummy.  "Let me search for some."

"And what about a cake, Mummy?  Can I blow out the candles on your cake?"

"I'm not getting a cake," said Mummy.  "You know I can't eat chocolate or coffee or citrus things, and no one really knows how to make a good vanilla cake."

"We know Mummy!  Let's make one!"said Osito Nayan.

"Yes!" said Samatva, "I love vanilla cake, not too soft and not too hard, not too sweet and not too creamy, with just the right amount of.."

"There's no time today,"said Mummy, "We have so many assignments to finish.  So I have just ordered some food and we will have seviyan for dessert."

"I like seviyan too," said Samatva, "Not too thick and not too thin, not too nutty and not too plain, not too heavy and not too light, not too warm and not too cold.."  Samatva was a very particular bear when it came to the matter of food.

So everyone had a delicious dinner, there was plenty of water and plenty of internet.  The restaurant had somehow figured out it was Mummy's birthday, so they did send a cake with a candle to blow out.

There were balloons to blow and play with.

"A lovely party!" sighed Samatva in satisfaction.  "I'm ready for bed now."

But Osito Nayan wasn't.  "I want to stay up forever and juggle the balloons with Samatva," he said.

"Samatva is ready for bed," said Mummy.  So, very reluctantly, Osito Nayan came to bed.

After many moments of tossing and turning and trying to escape and get back to the balloons, Osito Nayan said, "Mummy, I can't sleep.  Can you tell me a story?"

So Mummy began a story- "Once upon a time, Osito Nayan and Samatva went out into the garden to play. As they were searching for new and exciting things, a gust of wind blew them both up, up and away.

Osito Nayan sat up immediately.  "A huge gust of wind?" he asked. 

"You have to lie down and close your eyes," said Mummy, "otherwise the story won't work."

So Osito Nayan and Samatva lay down once more while Mummy continued-

"Hold on to me, Samatva!" cried Osito Nayan, "So we don't get separated."  And hand in paw, they flew over many lands until they gently came down to a land full of balloons of all colours and sizes.

There were so many balloons that the people there used them for all kinds of things.."

"What kinds of things, Mummy?" murmured Nayan.  And as Mummy told him, he drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face.  Samatva was already fast asleep.

It was a full moon night and the moon shone through the trees.  Mummy lay back contentedly.  She was full of happiness, and thankfulness too, for her special family that made every moment, however imperfect, seem like the best possible moment.  Something she would not want to exchange for anything else.  

Notes of music filled her ears.  The best kinds of notes - the ones that hung unheard in the air, waiting for someone to bring them to life.  She thanked Life too for the gift of music that it had recently presented her with.  So many birthday surprises!